Two nomads (Joe and Mary) were crossing the street when they were struck by an OTEC company car who's driver was too busy checking his stock quotes to look at the road. Joe was thrown over 300 feet by the force of the impact, and Mary slammed through the windshield and right into the car in question!
Once they had recovered sufficiently from their injuries in the Trauma Center they were brought before an AI judge.
Joe stood up and declared: "That idiot corporate nearly killed us both that night because he was too occupied to be driving in public! I demand that it be considered attempted murder and that he serve jail time with Braindance for it!"
The AI pauses for precisely 4.2 nanoseconds before pronouncing judgement. "Negative. You are hereby found guilty of leaving the scene of an accident, and your companion is found guilty of Breaking and Entering!"
Three members of the "Wild Things" gang were rounded up in a routine police sweep of the harbours. Instead of serving Jail Time for their drug charges, they were offered positions in the police force, as long as they could pass basic training...
So at the academy they begin to attend classes. One of their first includes an observation test where a person is shown to them in profile for 3 seconds and then they have to describe what they noticed.
So the instructor goes up to our first Wild Thing and asks him to describe what he saw. "Man, That chummer was, like, totally weird man! He, like, only had one ear!". To which the instructor responded with total exasperation and sent the Wild Thing on his way back to County.
He then approaches the second Wild Thing and asks him to describe what he saw. The response was somewhat similar in tone: "Hey Choombah, that was a weeeeird on, ya man. Not bein' every day you be seein' a man wit' only a one eye!". "You IDIOT, he was in profile, of COURSE you could only see one eye!!!!" And back to County went Wild Thing No 2.
So our instructor goes on to his last Wild Thing and asked, expecting nothing better, "So, what did you notice about our possible perpetrator?".
"He was wearing contacts, wasn't he?" came the response
"Damn, wow! Tell me more! How did you notice this?"
"Well, he couldn't wear glasses!"
And back to County went Wild Thing No 3.
(He only had one ear, so he couldn't wear glasses)
A heavily-cybered edgerunner was driving along the Gibson Memorial Freeway one evening when his Ford-Mazda Luxus 14 had a flat. He climbed out of the car and lifted the back end up with his left cyberarm and started removing the nuts from the wheel with his right Tool Hand, when along come a pair of boosters crawling over the median.
Recognizing their gang colours, our edgerunner greets them and gathers that they are not aggressive and so returns to work on his tire. Suddenly he drops the car when he hears one of the Boosters smashing in the passenger window! As he draws his Magnum Opus Big Government and circles the car he sees one booster standing there while the other is leaning in through the borken window!
The first booster says to him: "Hey Choombah! You grab the tires, we be goin' for the sound system!"
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