Ye Olde Condom

Not afraid of AIDS III right? I mean, it's not like CyberPunk characters have a short time to live anyways, eh choomba? And with the Contraceptive Implant, who needs the old rubber coat? Did you know that condoms are still SAS (British Secret Air Service) standard issue in 2020 (and their guidebook isn't due for a re-write until 2024)? Ever wonder why?

Condoms can be used for 1. Water Carriers Each one will take about one and a half pints. Remember to put the whole thing in a sock for support. 2. Surgical Gloves Bullet wounds are usually already highly contaminated, but if you are clearing out a wound, put condoms on your fingers to reduce the chances of further infection. 3. Signaling Devices Useful for ground-to-air signalling; simply blow them up and place them on the ground in the desired pattern. 4. Waterproof Containers You can use them to protect your kit or maps and for keeping water out of weapons and radio equipment. 5. Hiding Material Condoms wrapped around small items can then be hidden internally to prevent their discovery during searches. (commonly known as hooping). 6. Dirt Shield During desert operations such as the mid-east meltdown, soldiers would place condoms over the barrels of their firearms to keep dust and sand and other particulate matter out of their weapons. 7. Evidence Bag In emergency situations a condom can be used as a makeshift evidence bad, allowing for the transport of samples with a minimum of contamination. We recommend that most of these uses, unlubricated condoms should be purchased

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Legend has it that the word derives from the earl of Condom, the knighted personal physician to England's King Charles II in the mid-1600s. Charles's pleasure-loving nature was notorious. He had countless mistresses, including the most renowned actress of the period, Nell Gwyn, and though he sired no legitimate heirs, he produced innumerable bastards throughout the realm. Dr. Condom was requested to produce, not a foolproof method of contraception, but a means of protecting the king from syphilis. His solution was a sheath of stretched and oiled intestine of sheep. (It is not known if he was aware of Fallopius's invention of a hundred years earlier. It is part of condom lore that throughout the doctor's life, he discouraged the use of his name to describe the invention.) condom's sheath caught the attention of noblemen at court, who adopted the prophylactics, also against venereal disease. The fact that STDs were feared far more than siring illegitimate children can be seen in several dictionary definitions of condoms in the 17th and 18th centuries. A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, for instance, published in London in 1785, defines a condom as "the dried gut of a sheep, worn by men in the act of coition, to prevent venereal infection." The entry runs for several additional sentences, with no mention of contraception. Only in this century, when penicillin laid to rest men's dread of syphilis, did the condom come to be viewed as protection primarily against pregancy. A condom made of vulcanized rubber appeared in the 1870s and from the start acquired the popular name rubber. It was not yet film thin, sterile, and disposable. A man was instructed to wash his rubber before and after intercourse, and he reused one until it cracked or tore. Effective and relatively convenient, it was still disliked for its dulling of sensation during intercourse. Thinner modern latex rubber would not be introduced until the 1930s. Rubbers were denounced by religious groups. In New York in the 1880s, the postal service confiscated more than sixty-five thousand warehouse condoms about to sold through the mail, labeling them "articles for immoral purposes," and police arrested and fined more than seven hundred people who manufactured and promoted the goods. Taken from: CHARLES PANATI's EXTRAORDINARY ORIGIN OF EVERYDAY THINGS